Dear Lord,

Always keep me mindful of who I am and where I am today. It is only because of your saving grace and your compassion that you had mercy on your poor servant. You have called me to serve as you did, to administer to the sick, poor and dying: Those you have cared for and loved during your time on Earth. I have answered your call Lord: Here I am. I come to do your will.Use me Lord, let me be an instrument for you, to love, to care and to heal, for I understand and know that it is only you who can do that, not by any sort of strength on my own. It is you who heals Lord, only you. I am but your instrument to use according to your will. My love is imperfect Lord, but with you, perfection comes to completion. Lord fill me with your love, that I may learn to love like you did, and care like you did, that I may bring you to all mankind and that through me they may know about you and your love for them. Let me never be discouraged or disappointed with the illnesses and deaths around me, for I know it is your will and that it is through death that we obtain eternal life. Lord, continue to help me in my studies, to obtain and learn the knowledge necessary to carry out my job well, so that I may use them for your glory. In times of stress and disappointments, give me the strength to overcome them, for I will face many of these along my path. Give me the stamina I need Lord, to do my job well, that I may not disappoint a sick patient who needs my help. I ask this through my Lord and Saviour, who lives and reigns with you for all eternity.

Amen.

     Well, left some stuff out yesterday, so here I am back today and blogging again. We were told that under the new legislation, we'll be required to register as medical practioners over here in South Australia. Not that I can sign a Medical Certificate or prescription, but I guess it's the equivalent of an L plate in driving. They say it's for security purposes as we'll soon be going to hospitals. Certain information and places are previleged, only healthcare workers and sometimes only doctors are allowed to access the information, like information classified as Medical-in-Confidence. So it looks like there'll be 3 classes of registration here from next year. the L plates like myself, with not much implications, just access to restricted information and places, P plates being the interns and full registration which are the practioners themselves. Pretty strange though, makes me seriously feel like a doc now... hahaha....=)

    Anyway, once back to school, there should be a short non-formative self-marked test coming up. The strange thing is that as I attempt to flip through the books and my notes, I find it really pointless as all the information is still so fresh and just there in my head. Not much effort needed to recall them, in fact I could tell straight where I was on the book and simply recall all related information, how it works, implication towards the disease at hand, what happens if it goes wrong and what can go wrong. Guess one thing's for sure, PBL is working for me, because I got a pretty good report from my PBL tutor, and that is one of the aims of PBL: Deep learning, where it just goes in and stays in forever. so it's all good, maybe just a quick look before I go back to school, spend an hour or so and shouldn't have any problems. =)

    What is Faith? Simple answer after all the teachings in Mass today: Faith is believing in something or someone even without seeing or knowing for sure he is there. That is the basis of our religion. We know God is there, we see Christ in others, but do we see him as a person? No. That is why we have the I Believe and not the I See. But blessed are we who have not seen and yet believe.

    Well, the first week of my hols has ended, and I spent most of it going it alone. I'm not complaining, because I've finally got some time to seriously spend alone, without the clamour of the outside world around me, me being able to do whatever I choose to do as well. Wondered around the suburbs and found many interesting places. Each suburb has a huge shopping centre, I'll probably be going to another on Monday. Studies wise, done some light reading on lung physiology, because had no idea what the lecturer was babbling about. Now at least I know, plus finished all o/s stuff. So I'm happy, I think I'll read up on pulmonary examination as well, seems like a good idea since I'm so bloody free, and I'm very confident about my understanding of the cardiovascular system and examination.

    Those were the words mentioned throughout easter. The stuff it represents is actually my own interpretation of it. To love one another is probably the most important. Jesus had effectively made Love the law as a whole. He summed it up simply by love God and love thy neighbour. Which he effectively again reminded us that Love is his commandment. And it is true, for it is only through love that kindness exists, and through love that the whole world may see the love of Christ through our actions. We can preach of the love of Christ, but if we do not show it, people will label us as hypocrites. I prefer to try and show it rather than preach it. Anyway, it's the holidays here, and maybe I'll have the chance to find out more about this place. We'll see about that come Tuesday since the shops here refuse to open until then.

    It's been almost 2 months since I started school, even longer since I got news that I passed the interview after failing 6 previous ones. All these seem a distant past. I remember the interview and my reaction to the results, but as to the exact questions and what I said, I can't remember much, except for the reason for studying medicine. That is deeply ingrained into me and so close to my heart that I'll never ever forget the reason why I'm doing this.

    The holidays are coming, and the strange thing is that I'm more sad than happy. Most people are grateful for the break, but I'm sad because I can't go to school for the next 2 weeks. I guess this is what they call love. When the person or object leaves you for 2 weeks, that 2 weeks seem an eternity. You can't bear to let go because you're so in love with it. I'm not seriously exhausted enough to need a break yet, 2 months in school is too short to be tired. Or maybe it's because I love medicine too much that I don't even feel the strain of studying. That's probably the case because every day it brings more joy, more knowledge and more happiness to me. Each day is a new adventure, I learn something new. It is a joy and never a strain for me. Well, I've got a finance test coming up this Thursday on the last day of school. I don't feel as much for this subject as Medicine, so sometimes it has been a drag, mostly it's because of the test, other than that, I'm fine with it. But I'm thankful, thank God that all those things in my textbook is finally making a whole lot of sense. I'm a person who can't really "sponge" facts very well, but the way my mind works is to look for a logical process of thought, one event triggering another. It's more of a mind that makes sense of logic and arranging things rather than just passive acceptance. That works very well in Medicine because God has designed a very efficient body in a logical manner most of the time, though there are exceptions to this rule, unfortunately.

    As for the holidays, I don't have much of a choice of whether I want it or not, it's here to stay. So I've decided to go to the beach and hang out, go shopping in the suburbs and more importantly plan my holiday in July. Yup, I'm going on holiday alone to Melbourne. This is making me very excited because it will be a good experience, having to plan your own trip, the logistics, budget costs and everything. The advantage is also you can do exactly what you want, don't have to be considerate and think about the people along the trip with you. It's not that it's a problem, I'm fine with making compromises, but it's just a new freedom, being alone in a foreign land. That is the challenge. My Dad did that when he was only 16, he travelled with nothing but his backpack from his home in the North-East of Singapore all the way across the whole Malaysian Penninsula to the holiday island in the northern tip of Malaysia. Back then I can imagine him going through a lot more trouble since the infrastructure was much less sophisticated and him coming from a poor family.... I can just imagine him clinging to the back of buses and hitch-hiking along with other lorries and walking through jungles. I have a budget, I have technology of aviation and a decent plan (I don't think he had a plan....) of where I'm going and what I'm going to do when I get there. I have maps and infrastructure on my side, he didn't. And I'm 5 years older when he was back then. I'm confident I can pull this trip off well enough for me to enjoy. So planning and bookings have to start this April to get an early bird offer.