Monday, January 30, 2006
Meeting up with my cousins this CNY has made me realised how different I've grown from them. It's really strange, but we don't seem to share the same interest anymore? I still laugh at their jokes and enjoy their company, but we're just so different now.... They talk about relationships and army stuff for the guys, but these things don't seem to matter to me anymore. I'm different and I know that, but sometimes I wish I wasn't that different at all.
On another note, I really should stop playing too much PS2.... I've beaten every one of the guys at the game. I didn't realise I was that good at this game, too good for my own liking actually. Shows I've been playing too much. But my results show otherwise, it's really strange. People associate playing too much games with poor grades, but my grades are hardly poor! If you ask me how I have the time, I really don't know. But hey, it feels good to be good at something my cousins are usually better than me at. =)
1/30/2006 01:02:00 AM , lovin till it hurts
Saturday, January 28, 2006
So fast, my month at the polyclinic is over. Learnt a whole lot over there, gained an unbelievable amount of experience as well. Couldn't have went any better. Made many new friends: My tutors are soooo cool!!! They treated me more like their colleague than a student. During each patient they'll just go "So what you think arh?" Then I'll give my opinion and we'll proceed accordingly. And I got to see so many of the signs in the books! Wheezes, creps, bronchial breath sounds, increased vocal resonance, cardiac murmurs, S3 rhythm now I've heard them all! And the funniest of them all? an AF pulse! I was taking the pulse halfway then i realised "hmmm.... how come the pulse so funny one??" it was like lub dub lub.... .... .... dub lub dub lub dub lub dub lub dub.... .... .... lub... ... it was as if the heart was taking a break in between! hah.... but it was greatly enriching on the whole loved it! so many stories to tell.... but i wish my attachment would have ended on a real high lar. My last patient was one like this: Me and my tutor was looking at the CXR and we both looked at each other. She was like "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" I went "Oh no...." we listened in to his chest and it confirmed our worries. We sent him off to national cancer centre to see a lung specialist there. You should be able to guess by now what the problem is.... very sad.... pray for him....
1/28/2006 01:09:00 PM , lovin till it hurts
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Just WaitDesperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate....
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming Your Word.
My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no', to which I'll resign.
You promised Dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord I have been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking, I need a reply.
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting.... for what?"
He seemed to kneel, and His eyes met with mine....
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
I could give you all you seek and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You know not the depth of My love for mankind.
You know not the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust justt by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joys of resting in Me
when darkness and silence are all you can see.
You'd never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of my spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give and I save for a start,
but you would not know the depth of the beat of my heart.
The glow of my comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting what you ask
from an infinite God who makes what you have last.
You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that my grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.
So, be silent my child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know Me.
And though oft my answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still.... WAIT."
This poem is beautiful. You know, we always want answers, our petitions answered NOW. Fine example is myself.... there is so much to be thankful for. The plans of the Lord, oh how marvellous it is!!! I so wanted to go to Glasgow, but the Lord said no. He called me for this, but did not answer my prayer then. I was so upset, even doubting my calling then.... But like the poem goes, if the Lord gave it to me then, would I have learnt to trust in Him? To trust in His calling and plan for me? It is true, in your deepest darkest hour, it is then you realise that He is good, He is there and all you have to do is learn to trust..... If I had gotten Glasgow, I'd be in deep shit by now if I had those problems I had last year, and the diet as well? Oh, the wisdom of the Lord! It is perfect in every way, makes my human wisdom seem so foolish right now, Praise the Lord.....
And even last year, when I was going through that period of depression, in my deepest darkest hours, I have heard so many times, and felt so many times His presence, His voice saying "My dearest child, don't worry, I know. I am here. I am with you." It is the most amazing feeling in the world and I can vouch for it. The comfort, the peace it brings you.... Trust in Him and He will never fail you....=)
1/11/2006 11:34:00 PM , lovin till it hurts
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Like my new blog design? hah....
This few days in the clinic have been a real eye opener. It's not that I don't know that these problems exists, but more that seeing it in real life makes a world of a difference. I had cases of wives catching STDs from their husbands. This I see also in Australia, but still it makes me wonder. What happened to "For better for worse, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, I promise to cherish and to hold you all the days of my life."? It's not just infidelity here, but you caused hurt and illness to your partner. Where is his conscience? Somewhere in the pile of rubbish thrown out years ago I'm guessing. I still believe in love I guess, that's why I'm constantly searching for it. But how can you ever, in good conscience hurt a person you love? Very saddening.
And also, among the aging population, there is a very poor level of health education. Not anyone's fault I guess, it's just the language barrier, stubborness, 2nd childhood effect amongst others. I have old people telling me that you can die from quitting smoking! Others tell me that they've smoked all their lives and not suffered any adverse effect, so they don't think they should quit. The latter being more common in Australia.
Don't think it's right to reveal any more of the finer details over on my blog tho. Breach of privacy of my patients. =) so that's it I guess.....
1/08/2006 08:26:00 PM , lovin till it hurts
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Yesterday was my first day of attachment sitting in the clinic with a doctor. I think at the end of the day, both of us were impressed with each other. She is the ONLY local doctor who, to me, has good communication skills and a decent patient rapport, at least to the standard expected of us over in my training. She on the other hand was impressed with my clinical reasoning and diagnostic ability. The result of that was me being treated as an equal although I am not. Kept asking me "What you think arh?" Then I'll go "I think it's ..... leh, can't be .... cos .... but good to be mindful of the possibility." And she goes "Yah, I think so also.... Not bad arh you, you know what you're doing."
We eventually had the chance to talk to each other, and she commented I am the product of the PBL system, everything that is good and bad with it: Good clinical ability and reasoning early on. Know exactly what I am doing in the clinical setting, but lack book knowledge. But like she says, this can be easily overcomed because of our research skills, honed from day 1 since PBL involves finding solutions to issues you don't know about, so book knowledge shouldn't be a concern. Being overseas trained also means we're trained very well on communication skills and patient rapport. Even from her own observation of her own colleagues: Foreign trained docs are better at dealing with the human side of medicine, while the NUS kids seem ill-prepared for it: angry patients, stubborn non-compliant ones, breaking bad news to pple, etc.... NUS kids just can't handle them well, they'll tell you it's not taught in their school. My opinion: Can you teach such things from books? No. That is the fault with the local system. Too book oriented. Some things cannot be taught by books. Well, it's just me, but I feel that NUS got what they asked for: Book smart people.... Hope no one gets offended by this, it's just my opinion on my blog after all....
1/04/2006 09:34:00 PM , lovin till it hurts
Monday, January 02, 2006
Rank Specialty Score
1
rheumatology 45
2 aerospace med 43
3 physical med & rehabilitation 43
4
pathology 43
5 nephrology 42
6 pulmonology 41
7 neurology 41
8 occupational med 41
9 ophthalmology 40
10 preventive med 40
11 infectious disease 40
12 gastroenterology 40
13 allergy & immunology 40
14 anesthesiology 39
15
hematology 39
16 psychiatry 39
17 plastic surgery 39
18
thoracic surgery 39
19 radiology 38
20 pediatrics 38
21 dermatology 38
22 neurosurgery 37
23 otolaryngology 37
24 nuclear med 37
25 endocrinology 36
26 cardiology 36
27
general internal med 36
28 radiation oncology 36
29 urology 35
30 general surgery 34
31 orthopaedic surgery 33
32 colon & rectal surgery 33
33
obstetrics/gynecology 32
34
emergency med 31
35
med oncology 30
36 family practice 25
Guess who's not going to be a GP anytime soon? hah.... just as I thought. Those in italics are specialities that have crossed my mind before. Looks like patho and rehumato are "hot favourites" at the moment.... anyway this is a test from a uni's website on aptitude for different specialities.... and honestly, i can see myself as a rheumatologist one day.... maybe....=)
1/02/2006 02:57:00 AM , lovin till it hurts
