Saturday, April 28, 2007
I wish I was a child again. A lot of the kids, even people my age can't wait to grow up, but then I'm the opposite. Being a child so easy, no responsibility, less worries, no nothing. You get taught what to study unlike now I'm just doing independent learning, and the weight of that responsibility is huge.... You also get people to care for you as a kid, cook for you, clean for you, wash for you.... if you screw things up, it's usually reversible anyway or at least ur excused cos ur a kid. Now as an adult and as a semi-doc, things are real. it hits home more than ever as a med student. the weight of responsibility as a student and as a doc.... just the other day, i had another crying patient on the ward rounds (what is it with crying/distressed patients and me? i dun think any of my colleagues got involved with so many incidents like me!) so i went back and talked to her after my rounds. she's the same age as me.... life is tough and i really could understand where she's coming from.... but after that chat she's all smiles, which was good. then had to take her blood and she had one of the toughest veins ever! the moment i saw it, i put away the 18G and went down to 23G cos i knew i'll have problems with it and rather have problems and not hurt her than use a more painful 18G. Well, as the story goes, i only got out 3ml before her vein collapsed (strange rite? for a 23 y.o....) oh well, so went to get the intern to do it instead.... but all these is really beside the point.... i just wish i was a kid again.... life will be soooo easy then.... sigh....
miss home so bloody much... i hope the miracle happens and i can go for good....*sigh* if not, 4 more wks to go to home....
4/28/2007 01:09:00 PM , lovin till it hurts
Monday, April 23, 2007
This is the amzaing new song by thirsty merc, an aussie band... love it! reckon it's going top of chart soon.... i really do feel for the words in this song sometimes, so i guess it's really close to heart too! hah.....
20 Good ReasonsThey say love hurts
I wrote that book
I climbed that wall
I had one look
But you came around
To say hello
The streets were filled
With guilty hearts
And here was I
Right from the start
And I lost everything
When I lost you
So tell me why
Should I let you go?
Give me 20 good reasons
I need to know
And at that point
There was no pain
There was no sky
There was no rain
For all there was was you
And your sweet face
But life's life
And things may change
Like scenes upon an actor's stage
Tomorrow comes today
For all we know
So tell me baby
Why should I let you go?
Give me 20 good reasons
I need to know
Give me 20 good reasons
Give me 20 good reasons
Give me 20 good reasons
To let you go
4/23/2007 02:57:00 PM , lovin till it hurts
Sunday, April 22, 2007
He had no servants and yet we call Him master. He had no degree and yet we called Him teacher. He had no medicines and yet we call Him healer. He had no army yet He conquered the world. He died and yet He lives.
4/22/2007 09:44:00 PM , lovin till it hurts
Saturday, April 14, 2007
"In investigating nature you will do well to bear ever in mind that in every question there is the truth, whatever our notions may be. This seems perhaps a very simple consideration; yet it is strange how often it seems to be disregarded. If we had nothing but pecuniary rewards and worldy honours to look to, our profession will not be one to be desired. But in its practice you will find it to be attended with parculiar privileges; second to none in intense interest and pure pleasures. It is our proud office to tend to the fleshy tabernacle of the immortal spirit, and our path, if rightly followed, will be guided by the unfettered truth and love unfeigned. In the persuit of this noble and holy calling wish you all Godspeed."
This was from a graduation ceremony of the Uni of Edinburgh about 2 centuries ago. Still holds true today....
4/14/2007 10:21:00 PM , lovin till it hurts
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
finally my internet is up! yay! so much to talk abt over the last few days.... hmmmm.... where shall i start?
moved house over the easter break.... broke the promise to myself never to move house again. it's not my fault tho, cos of the moron of a housemate that i have to move. can't stand it. i never had such a bad impression of dentistry students until i got to know some of them. at first i tot they were good lads, u noe, docs as well.... but the more i got to noe them, the worst they became! it seems that all of them are somewhat fixated on money and nothing else. no care, no compassion whatsoever. money, if i have to pull all your teeth out for the money, i'll do it. i only noe of one decent person from dentistry, the rest are all.... wrong is the best word i can think of. yes, and if it's still unclear by now, that moron is from dentistry. but looking on the bright side, the new house is cool! located in the suburb of a city like vanessa said (it's in the city, but looks like suburb), double storey, lotsa living space, secure area with the gates outside the property..... so yeah, no complaints.
surgery... yes, after being on surgery for a wk, it reminds me why i never want to become a surgeon. all of them have like absolute 0 EQ and no bedside manner at all. imagine a ward round of 20 pple going to see a patient. stupid rite? makes the patient feel like some sort of caged animal for viewing rite? this is wad happens on a regular basis here. and all the patient gets to here from the surgeons while they talk amongst themselves is "you'll be alrite." and he moves on. gawd! how can they ever treat another human being like that? where is the love and compassion all docs are suppose to have? i guess they're excused cos technically they're addressed as Mr. and not Dr. i'll never let myself get to that stage i swear.... i'll stay the way i am today all my career. i think the patients like me better this way. that's why i made up my mind to stay Dr rather than be Mr. and anyway, i'm learning nothing on this rotation if anyone wants to know. nothing that i dun already noe and nothing is being taught. i'm like home every afternoon lor....
anyway, was just thinking, funny how i can miss this person so much.... i think she's avoiding talking to me so i wun miss her that much, but instead i miss her even more.... maybe that's why they say first love never dies.... it stays with u for all eternity, even if u moved on, wound up with another or wad not, u always want to stay in touch with her, even if it's as friends.... cos she'll always be special.... i do miss u, big time.... message me soon k?
last of all, good friday reflection.... i noe it's late, but there was one song in the cathedral that i tot is something that we should all ponder abt. wad if the Lord was asking us just that....
Will you give me your life forever?
Will you carry my cross everyday?
Will you walk in the light of my presence?
Will you follow the truth of my ways?
Will you love me as I have loved you?
Will you live with me in the darkness as I die?
For the moon and the stars will be gone like the night,
and the sun will be shining on you.Like the purest of gold in the furnance,
is your love strong enough to endure?
Does your faith carry on through the shadows?
Does it shine in the night for the world?
Can you walk in the footsteps of silence,
through the wilderness sands in the sun,
from the desert of doubt and temptation,
to the glorious mountain of fire?
Think about it? Can you? Can you love Him as He loved you?
4/10/2007 03:49:00 PM , lovin till it hurts
kopped this link off mich's blog....=p let's say it's ard 75% true lah....=D
You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.
You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image. You need for those people in positions that matter to recognise your potential and to acknowledge you.
You are a perfectionist in everything that you put your hand to. You are demanding and very exacting in the standards you apply to your choice of colleagues and friends -perhaps you demand too much from people. That perfection you seek in a particular person is illusive - perhaps it does not even exist.
You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.
You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.
4/10/2007 09:37:00 AM , lovin till it hurts
Sunday, April 01, 2007
This song is from Don Moen's new album. It says everything I have to say now. To everyone out there, He'll never abandon you, even if you've abandoned Him.... Don't worry, just trust Him....
He Never SleepsWhen you've prayed every prayer that you know how to pray.
Just remember the Lord will hear and the answer is on it's way.
Our God is able.
He is mighty.
He is faithful.
And He never sleeps, He never slumbers.
He never tires of hearing our prayer.
When we are weak He becomes stronger.
So rest in His love and cast all of your cares on Him.
Do you feel that the Lord has forgotten your need.
Just remember that God is always working in ways you cannot see.
Our God is able.
He is mighty.
He is faithful.
4/01/2007 07:59:00 PM , lovin till it hurts
