Saturday, January 27, 2007
today just came back from church... was my favourite reading again....=) the thing about love from 1 corinthians..... it just keeps me wondering, how many of us are truly capable of it? our love is often conditional, love you if you love me back sort of thing.... cos it's easy, not the tough sort of love, to love an unlovable person or to love your enemies.... but like martin luther ones said, "no amount of darkness can destroy darkness, only light can. no amount of hatred can destroy hatred, only love can. hatred begets hatred, anger begets anger and violence begets violence in a never ending spiral of darkness...."
anyway, on the other sort of love.... i've been thinking to myself, i've always been waiting for the one true love.... i'm getting old.... my views have changed over time.... i dun believe in magic anymore, i dun believe in perfection either, simply cos i'm not perfect either.... the sort of love, the sort that involves marriage, the sort that goes "for better for worse, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, till death do us part".... i think it's really more of being able to truly understand the other person, to be able to accept his/her weaknesses and turn a so-called blind eye to it.... that is love to me now. seeing the strong pts of your partner and enjoying it is way too easy, but when u see the dark side, will you still love the person? yeah, i am old.... but i'm ready for this sort of r/s, when the right person comes along.... i carn wait.... =p
1/27/2007 09:31:00 PM , lovin till it hurts
Thursday, January 25, 2007
You know, I've never felt this afraid before of school. When I first got into med school, it was more of exciting, not a scary thing to me. Now entering into 4th yr, a changing landscape, treated like a doc but not quite one.... i dunno, but i'm scared. Maybe it's simply the solitude again. You know when I first arrived today, it's the overwhelming feeling of lonliness that feels me again.... felt like simply turning back and board the plane again. But they always say be brave, treat it like an experience to grow. I admit I've grown a lot over the last 3-4 yrs, but the lonliness is still here, i want someone to talk to. Some of my friends say I shouldn't fear yr 4 simply cos i've been consistently there for the last 3 yrs, but hey, it's a diff ball game now.... but i guess i have to get going again, have to be tough cos when the going gets tough, the tough get going.... top student mentality like dad always tells me, this is wad differentiates me from the rest of them, i will not say die, i will not lose.... we shall see i guess.... i believe the lord has called me to this service for the rest of my life because this is wad he wants from me: to love as he would love, to serve as he would serve and most importantly be his hands to heal as he would choose to heal.... i do not heal, i do not make the patients better, the lord does it: i am but an instrument.... pls lord.... guide your humble servant, take away this unhealthy fear..... everyone has so much more faith in me than myself.... parents, aunts, uncles, friends.... no wonder fr joe complains i got low self esteem.... it's weird, in this sense i see myself as 2-faced? low self-esteem, maybe, but when the occasion comes, i know i can and i know i will match whatever they can throw at me: top student mentality like dad calls it.... dunno lah....
anywayz, on another note, i got 2 new housemates, both older than me.... yes, i tot i was old, but they're even older.... MUCH older... but who cares? as long as they're nice rite? so far seems ok lah.... only time will tell i guess....and btw, anyone thinking of taking overnight flights in business class SQ? forget it.... they makan u one.... not worth the while.... if u think only of getting proper sleep, yeah, maybe it is worth, but i'm a gourmet person, so the 2 meals became 1, i was well pissed.... the tim sum brekkie was good tho.... =)
1/25/2007 10:48:00 PM , lovin till it hurts
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
1. Start Time: 9.55pm
2. Name: Jeremy
3. nickname: JM
4. Astrology sign: Saggitarius
5. Gender: Male
6. Hair color: Black i think.... too short to tell....=p
7. Eye color: Dark brown
8. Height: 1.75m
9. Favorite color: Blue, all shades of it....
10.Glasses: Yup
11.tattoos: Nope
12.Birthplace: S'pore
13.Area code: 530245
14.friends: Few close ones, few trying to keep hold of cos i miss them, not too many casuals....
******HAVE YOU EVER*****
15. cut your own hair?: Nope, but dad reckons I should.....
16. Done something in the past regret? Yes.... and I lost someone dear to me as a result....=(
17. Have you ever met someone you were not supposed to? Yes/No. I kinda believe a bit in fate tho....
18. Skipped school? Yesh. Sec sch, JC, Uni.... dad says i hopped out of pri sch whenever i felt like it.... uni cos some of the lects are simple waste of time....
19. Bungee jumped? No
20. Tickled someone? Yea.... just to irritate that person....=D
21. Cheated on someone? NEVER. I believe in true love....
22. Been arrested? Nope
23. Broken into someones house? Wad the....=S
24. Been rejected? Yes
25. Been to a funeral? Yes
26. Used a lighter? Yes, but I will never smoke, it's for other purposes....
*****FAVORITE*****
27.Season: Winter
28.Ice cream flavor: i like the "designer" sort of ice cream.... got expensive taste....=D
29.school subject(s): Math/Sci subjects
30.Candy: Dun like....
31.Breakfast: Carrot cake near my place, everything s'porean.... i always miss my yummy breakfasts when i'm stuck in bloody adelaide....
32.Juice: Watermelon
33.Book(s): NEJM (when there's interesting cases), Paulo Coelho's stuff....
34.Movie(s): I lost count of the movies I've watched recently, so yea....
35.Song(s): Too many.... more into the faster, guitar stuff nowadays....
36. Sport to watch on TV: Soccer!!! definitely.....
37. Letter(s): ???
38. Favourite fast food restaurant: I refuse to poison myself, only the once in a purple moon cravings.....
39. Disney Princess: I dun fantasize about cartoon characters.....
40. TV station? ESPN-Star in s'pore, 10 in adelaide.
41. Name for a daughter: It's a joint decision rite? no point discussing cos i'm still single!
42. Name for a son: Ditto.
****DO YOU PREFER*****
43. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla
44. Alcoholic or non? non, unless it's wine.... good wine at that....
45. relationships or one night stand? relationships
46. Scary movies or comedies? comedies
47. Short or long hair? short
48. Croutons or bacon bits? depends on what it's going with....
******FIRST THINGS THAT COME TO MIND******
49. Mexicans in general: tequila, though I dun drink it....
50.School: Fun.... I love what I'm doing....
51.Grass: Soccer!
52.Cow: steak!
53.Canada: maple leaf
54.mouse: com mouse
55.hands: are my fingernails too long?
******FOR THE PAST 3 DAYS HAVE YOU******
56.Watch a movie?? yup.... fastfood nation, but it did not influence the above answer. knew it was never good for u anyway!
57.Talked on the phone? Yea
58.Cried? No
59.Choked? No
60.Drank a glass of water? Definitely
61.Done Drugs? Caffeine....
62.Read a book or magazine? NEJM
63.Watched TV? Soccer!
64.Looked in the mirror? Not that I remember.....
65.Taken a shower? how can you NOT shower for 3 days????
66.Taken a picture? nope
67.Listened to music? yea, MP3....
68.Kissed someone? Nope....
69.Told someone you liked them? Nope....
70.End time: 10.10pm
1/09/2007 12:18:00 AM , lovin till it hurts
