Monday, October 24, 2005
Exam is around 2 weeks away, this week is the last week of school. Scared, but I am confident that I can achieve what I set out to do. Will be going home immediately after the exams. Can't wait. And last of all:
"Victory at all costs,
victory in spite of all terror,
victory however long and hard the road may be;
for without victory, there is no survival."
VICTORY....Continuing from last few days:
CalmThis is another important thing I've learnt this year: Keep my calm when the heat is on and the people around you are going nuts. It has been severely tested time and again, but I guess it's a growing experience. Guess I've grown in confidence and calm in this aspect because I survived the OSCEs without going into panic mode. The examiners can smell panic and it'll reflect poorly on the cadidate immediately. Fact is, this is vital next time as a doctor. Imagine if a patient simply KOs, I'm pretty sure they'll be screaming for you and the whole bed area will be in chaos. Nurses running around trying to help with what they can, patient's relatives going nuts if they're there. You have to go in, take command and tell them what to do: be confident and exert yourself to more effectively gain control of the situation. Keep your calm and think fast to do what you need to do. Also another reason why docs don't run to emergency: symapthetic stimulation due to increase exertion, increase sympathetic stimulation and therefore increase adrenaline = panic. Walking also allows you to have time to gather your thoughts, run through your head what you need to do. All these comes with experience: and boy have I grown in this. I swear, I never expected to be this calm in an exam that I had a nightmare with last year.
10/24/2005 05:33:00 PM , lovin till it hurts
Communication is mankind's most important single act. When improperly performed, it turns friends into enemies and plunges nations into war.This is another thing I learnt this year: Communication. It is so important yet so neglected in our lives. You'd have realised that this year I've really paid great attention to try and communicate efficiently and properly with everyone around me, put my point across clearly and diplomatically? You know what I mean. But yeah, I guess this sprung out of the hospital experience which I have learnt how poor doctor patient communication and affect the overall outcome of the patient's illness. Effective communication is one of the most important things I've learnt this year.
10/24/2005 12:13:00 AM , lovin till it hurts
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Continuing from yesterday's post:
I am called to do Medicine: to Care, to Love and to Serve with ConvictionI receive a more confirmation of this throughout the year. It's not that I ever had doubts about my calling in life. I have people going on about how good I am with med, and all that. I have been denying that for a long time now and I am finally admitting it, yes, I am good, for one reason or another, but I believe it's more a blessing and my passion for the subject more than anything else. I have also so many people say to me they wish I was their doc that by now it should have become meaningless to me, but no, I still appreciate their confidence in my ability to help them, and I'm still touched, especially when it comes from my superior or a real life patient. I just pray for the Lord to continue blessing me throughout. Lord, take my hands and my mind and make them yours. Help me to serve those in need of me.
Friends are not who they seem?I've made many new friends this year. My former students, some of my classmates here who I was able to get to know better. I miss u guys/gals all the time. Thanks for putting up with all my whinings and me being silly. I really appreciate it, You guys were my strength when I was weak and I'm really grateful.
10/22/2005 11:41:00 PM , lovin till it hurts
This year has been a real learning experience for me. Looking back, there has been so much I learnt about myself in a year. Some things I don't like, some others I never thought I had it in me. I'm just putting whatever I can remember down over the next few days.
There is no Perfect Love but God's LoveFact: I am but human, I try as hard as I can to love as He did, but it hurts sometimes, it hurts so bad. That is no longer the perfect love if I cannot accept that, that is selfish conditional love, human love. Have I failed in this aspect to those around me? I don't think so, because I still care for them and I do love them, but I guess I still have a long way to go before reaching perfect love.
With Great Knowledge comes Great ResponsibilityKnowledge that I have should be used to treat patients, not cause myself unnecessary worries. Lord, help me to be rational and not panic over minor ailments I suffer throughout my life. Help me to surrender my life, my all to you. Help me to use my knowledge responsibly to help and serve others rather than to turn it into a weapon against myself to cause anxiety and distress.
10/22/2005 12:15:00 AM , lovin till it hurts
Saturday, October 15, 2005
I have learnt a fair bit more about medicine this week: It requires psychological discipline amongst others. Moving from 1 station to another that quickly in my clinical exam requires that. You have to leave the last station behind you completely and move on. Not allowed to think about it anymore. If you can't, then it's going to affect your performance in the next, and in the next and it's a cascade and the whole exam will collapse on you. I had the worst of the draw in the exams as well since i started on the station just after the rest station. That means unlike all the other candidates, I get no rest station (it is actually my last station, but you can see the point: last station rest, might as well don't rest....) meaning, even more so I have to be disciplined psychologically because I don't have that 10 mins rest to calm down.
This is important in the future as well I guess, because if an accident happens or something goes drastically wrong in the previous surgery, I must be able to just forget it and not let it affect the next patient on my surgical table. If not, the consequences are just not good. So far I have been able to do that fine. Maybe cos I didn't think anything went horrendously wrong during my exam, but I was just *snap* wipe memory clean. Easy. And yes guys, I'm back to my usual gory self again. I think I wanna be a surgeon, again. Hey, I'm decent at anatomy, my mid year exam script for that was one of the best I've seen amongst everyone(show-off, I know, but it's a fact....) so yeah, surgery? but maybe not cardio though. General surgery is under consideration.
This term itself also requires me to be psychologically disciplined I guess. Actually I think it's more of being organised than anything else. Have a flood of deadlines and exams this term and I need to deploy my strategy to handle it. Make time, prepare for worst case situations and everything, so yeah, in my head I know what to do this whole term. Every weekend has it's allocation.
32 more days to going home.... Who's free to meet up? Quick make appointment....=)
10/15/2005 11:34:00 PM , lovin till it hurts
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Took a real psychological test recently provided to us by a psychologist in the med school. Here's my personality type. It should be quite accurate cos i answered honestly....
Personality type: Mode Z. Mode Z people are sometimes so unselfish and self-sacrificing that they seem almost saint-like. They tend to put other people's wishes above their own, and have difficulty in asserting themselves or expressing hostility. Emotions like anger and rage are turned inwards, against the self, resulting in feelings of guilt and worthlessness. Mode Z people also work extra hard in order to expiate guilt and prove that they're 'good' after all. They have difficulty in coping with the effects of stress, which are particularly severe for this type of person and often lead to disease or depression.
Cancer is the highest-risk disease for Mode Z people. 75% of cancer patients over a 25-year period study has been shown to have a Mode Z life history pattern, as opposed to only 10% amongst non-cancer patients.
Mode Y is your 2nd most dominant personality. You still possess fair adaptive powers and can probably take many of life's upheavals in your stride.
What do you people think? Should be quite true lah, genuine psych assessment mah....
10/06/2005 10:45:00 PM , lovin till it hurts
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Your #1 Match: INFJ
The Protector
You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.
You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.
Your #2 Match: ISFJ
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The Nurturer
You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.A good listener, you excel at helping others in practical ways.In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.
You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.
Your #3 Match: INTJ
The Scientist
You have a head for ideas - and you are good at improving systems.Logical and strategic, you prefer for everything in your life to be organized.You tend to be a bit skeptical. You're both critical of yourself and of others.Independent and stubborn, you tend to only befriend those who are a lot like you.
You would make an excellent scientist, engineer, or programmer. |
What's Your Personality Type?
10/02/2005 05:28:00 PM , lovin till it hurts
